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| Not Quirky K but super cute! |
My daughter is a lovely girl (don’t all parents say this?) with gorgeous curly hair that bounces when she runs. Yet, she started attending school and became self conscious of it. Before she loved it, then a little girl with straight blond hair told her that her hair was wild and there went all the self confidence of my 3 year old. I mean to have your identity questioned at 3 is ridiculous, unfortunately this happens all too often and soon to black children.
Quirky K no longer loved her black and brown dolls and constantly asked me to make her hair straight. I was devastated, I actually had to leave the play room purge because she wanted to give away every doll of color she owned and only keep the white Disney princesses in rotation. I pulled out, bought, and borrowed every affirming book for children of color and reminded her that mommy too had ‘wild’ hair and it was beautiful. That every single thing inside and out was beautiful about Quirky K. It took the better part of 2 1/2 years for me to change her mind after that 1 incident. Still it wasn’t perfect, it would creep up and out at weird times. She was still looking to tame it, make those curls lay flat in buns and ponytails like the other gymnasts and some of her friends. I thought her new diverse school, filled with many children of color would open her eyes that everyone has different hair and different doesn’t mean bad. It would be boring if we all looked the same, right? She still wasn’t quite as confident as I would have hoped, but I was grateful she didn’t beg me for straight locs anymore.
Then one day while wearing her curls loose and free, some one at school noticed and took the time to give her affirming words about her hair. Quirky K came home to say “a lady at my school told me she loved my hair, that it was like hers and we were wild and beautiful”. She was beaming, I mean this would be the point in the movie where the strategic spotlight would shine on the heroine’s blinding white teeth as the wind blew her hair in perfect symmetry and everyone in a 1 mile radius would be stopped, staring at this vision of perfection placed before them. Thank you unknown lady. You did in one short conversation what I kept trying to say for 3 years! I am so indebted to this woman, as she stroked my daughter’s love of self and became an unknown part of the village involved with our children. Some might be put off by some unknown lady having such influence, but I am just thankful. I am happy she came along to whisper good news in a little girl’s ear during this transformative time. It is amazing what kind words from others does for us, even when our loved ones have been saying the same forever! It takes on grander meaning because in our minds, family and loved ones have to tell us nice things. That stranger in the street has no reason to lie, nothing to gain by being kind in the moment and as such their words often lift us up when used wisely.
Thank you unknown lady at my daughter’s school, you made a difference in her life.
If you would like to add some diversity to your library, use my Amazon to check out great books, like Big Hair Don’t Care or I Love My Hair! and uplift your children of color or broaden your perspective.