Have you ever heard of the term ‘I need a vacation from my vacation’? If you haven’t, it is when you take a vacation and do so many things that when you get back to your obligations, you are exhausted! Vacation should be a time of rejuvenation, even if you are exploring new things. For me, vacations almost always include my kids and therefore it is much like being home, but in a different setting. There are sibling squabbles and cries of hunger. The inevitable scrapes and bruises, and the ever-present need to keep some semblance of our regular schedule, especially so we can sleep. That last one probably doesn’t apply to many, I know many kids who handle change and flexibility well. My kids do not. AT. All. So, yeah, I went away on a lovely vacation and now that we are back and thrust immediately into camps, friends, and a need to unpack; I need some alone time to recoup my senses. Not going to happen soon, unfortunately, so I just use the times between and after activities to sit and just be. You know, when they let me, because spending time with friends isn’t enough and once home, you still want to interact with me!
What I have learned, is not to over schedule our summers anymore. I am sure this need to schedule comes from a weird place many of us seem to have these days, that our kids will be ruined and forget their names if we don’t schedule every moment of their summer with the right balance of fun and learning. The super great, Bunmi Laditan, of The Honest Toddler recently wrote that “I think this generation of parents is the first one to believe they need to create good memories for their kids via structured activities forgetting that childhood, when safe and watered, is intrinsically fun.” She goes on in this cool thread about how she feels the comparison heavy world of social media leads us to feel we must one up the other parents with how many fun activities we can do with our own kids. That last sentence is me paraphrasing and adding my own emphasis to Ms. Laditan’s words. For sure click on the above link to read it yourself, there is more good stuff there. Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programming. I think she has a good point. Not everything good for kids in the past is good for them now. And, I really hate the adage ‘my parents did this thing and I turned out fine.’ So this isn’t that either. But, I had some structured events during the summer, but mostly it was me going outside and finding something to do. Often friends were around, sometimes not. Sometimes this hanging out outside happened at a friend’s house. Either way, my summers felt fun. I remember the time with happiness and when it was time to go back to school and write the inevitable ‘what did you do this summer’ paper, I was rested and ready, emotionally too, to go back. All that to back up why I no longer schedule all the fun into our summers. The first time I did this, I was a frazzled, stressed out mess. Even before the new school year started, I wanted out from under them so I could rest! The kids seemed keyed up too, and I’m not sure if they felt they had even had a break from school when it was all done. I don’t want to feel like that again, so I changed the way I did things.
This summer, we are doing what has been pretty successful the last few years. The kids have 2-3 scheduled events like camp or vacation and otherwise we just go where the mood strikes on a daily basis. Sometimes that is the beach, or a friend’s house, the park, or the library. Dare I say, we even just hang out at home sometimes. And my highly scientific research tells me that we are all happier because of it. We had to jump right into some of those scheduled plans when we returned from vacation which has a lot to do with me feeling like I still need rest. I usually can just hang around and get that vacation from my vacation, not so this time. But, I roll better with it now and my kids are learning to do the same.