It has been three long months since last we interacted, and I must say, I missed everyone. I missed sharing what I was up to, what my kids were doing, what I was reading. Really, everything. So, I am starting the year with a review of the month. Here is my January 2019 in review.
What Happened?
Three months is a long time to be away and I must say it was pretty stressful. The last few months of 2018 was a very stressful period for me. My son started a new school program in the afternoons. It was not going well. The stress of his attitude and behavior and struggle to adapt sparked a long bout of depression and anxiety. The whole situation felt like a blanket of concrete blocks I couldn’t remove. It took over my life, to the exclusion of all the things I like to do for myself. Then the anxiety of not updating the blog, or working on my book led to even more inaction. So, how did I move on from what happened?
New Year, New Start
As 2018 was coming to a close, I was able to set up some ideas for improving my son’s school situation. There was more of my own interests. This was my therapists idea. Every day should include one thing for me. This activity would have nothing to do with my kids or my spouse. It was a bit daunting to think of. It was like one more thing on my to-do list that would never get done. Yet, as I did it anyway, it was freeing not confining. Even if all I did was practice lettering, it was a moment of quiet in my mind. It lead to quiet in my heart and a more peaceful self. My interactions didn’t feel burdensome. I didn’t want to bite everyone’s head off because of the stress about everything. I planned to make 2019 a new year of a fresh, new start.
Okay, now what?
Well, we all know that many (most) of us search for a new start to a new year. There are all types of information on making resolutions, not making resolutions, how to start a new you! That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind though. I really wanted to just keep the momentum of doing small things for myself. The feeling of happiness it gave me, helped in all the corners of my life. Things still went wrong, things were forgotten, kids were still testing boundaries. But, the difference was now, I finally had that mindfulness to not be negatively affected. I even saw myself reacting with less volatility when exasperated and angry. So, now I want to keep that feeling and pull it out whenever I find myself getting lost in the stress of the day.
How is that working?
Best laid plans and all that is probably what you are thinking. A bit, but a lot less than I imagined. My writing is slowly getting back on track, hence the end of the month post. But, I am sticking to plans that check off small steps to the big finale. On the other hand, my goals page in my bullet journal is still waiting on me to finish it!
I am going to take all progress as good, so I say it is working. How is your new year shaping up? Do you make resolutions, are you sticking to your plans as we head into February? Help keep me accountable, I will look out for your success too.