My son was diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder at 3 and the Month of April is celebrated as Autism Awareness Month here. There has been a push, that I have known about, for the last 2 years for more acceptance than awareness and a movement to stop leaving autistic voices out of the conversation of how to help those with ASD.
I remember the beginning of our journey as a time of intense confusion and feelings of inadequacy because many people told me nothing was different and strange or wrong about my son, but my Mama Gut was screaming he needed help that I didn’t know how to provide and I was desperate for help from the constant emotional and physical struggle of caring for him. When I got the diagnosis, I felt some relief, the relief many talk of. You know, now there is a ‘thing’, it isn’t all in my head and now I can go out there and find help for him.
There were many naysayers still in our lives who didn’t believe the doctors or me and insisted if I just – insert discipline or schedule here – we wouldn’t be having any trouble with him at all. It took even more time to educate those people as I educated myself and then to stop giving space to those voices as I learned they weren’t helping me and didn’t take my hard won education to heart anyway. I look back and know that I could have done many things differently, even those things I was assured were helpful and beneficial to a child on the spectrum. I pray that I haven’t done irreversible damage with misinformation and that when he understands or remembers, he will find it in his giving heart to forgive me my ignorance.
These days, many people ask me what I did, how did I know, what helped, where to go, what to say, like I am the resident local mom on the subject. I am grateful they feel our journey has spoken to them, but I am quick to remind them that every child is different, be wary of Applied Behavior Therapy and Autism Speaks. Remember your struggle is as valid as the next family’s and find someone you can talk freely with about the highs and lows of traversing this new road you find yourself on. Know that if your child is non-verbal it doesn’t mean they don’t hear you or have nothing to say. Remember if your child is verbose, it doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling with other things, don’t need your voice to help speak to the world. Know that you can read all the websites and books and still need to pray and look at your situation to make the best available choice and if that choice doesn’t seem to be working, SPEAK UP, and try something else. Listen to your own intuition and listen to your child. 
Today I can still see the loving heart that struggles in a world not always accepting of him. I can see the hard work he puts in to learn what most of the neurodiverse population expects when he is interacting with them. I also work hard to remind him that he is PERFECT AS IS. He thinks differently and that is beautiful and shows all of us another way to think about things. I let him know I see his work, his struggle, that though we butt heads over trivial and important things, I am always in his corner with love. I tell him how I don’t think his core needs to change, only that he needs to be aware the way you have to be aware of other cars and traffic laws on the road. I tell him, he can do this, he is worth it all. I ACCEPT him, as he is. Won’t you learn to accept those different than you too?